Archive for January, 2010
Will Registry
Why a Will is so valueable,_ _ and even more valueable believe it or not, is where the Will is going to be kept so it can be readily located when needed.
Unfortunately, a Will is of absolutely no use, if it cannot be found!
In the absence of a Will, the law in your jurisdiction and the probate court will decide how your assets will be distributed. Dying intestate ( without a Will ) most countries, states/prov. have a fixed formula for allocating your assets. and it is very unlikely that they will distribute them according to your personal wishes.
The legal fraternity will confirm that too many Wills cannot be properly executed because they cannot be found, and expensive and often futile searches are made by executors and their legal professionals for a Will after the death of a testator.
Individuals and families can avoid this devastating scenario for remaining family members by taking the time to REGISTER THE LOCATION OF WHERE THEIR WILL IS GOING TO BE KEPT with a WORLDS WILL LOCATION REGISTRY.
For doing so, a person bequeath’s enormous peace of mind to all remaining family members.
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Will planning
all the time.
People can come up with several excuses at times for avoiding to do things that are vital for the welfare of the entire family.
EVERY DAY , BEGINS AT THE FAMILY KITCHEN TABLE IN MOST HOMES !
Some of the greatest decisions regarding business, government, etc, occurred around the kitchen table if the truth were known.
It will be the place where most individuals will eventually get around to discuss the welfare and future of the entire family.
However, what most days start out like around the kitchen table might go like this.
The family, ( usually hurriedly ) lays out the days functions for each family member. Kevin, be sure to take the garbage out: Amber, will you do the dishes when you get home from school? Mother, at work I will call the dentist to make an appointment for Micheal, and I will pick up Kebvin and Amber after school at 4 pm. Dad, I have to take the car in for an oil change this morning, and I will pick up the dry cleaning at my lunch hour. I will be here to take Micheal to volleyball at five pm.. Then supper preparation , and eating . This will be the second time in the day that most of the family will be together in conversation.
As with most families, this should be the time to relax and agree to pick an evening to address the planning for a Family Will.
However, as with most families with their seemingly never ending rushed schedule’s, they have too many other non-essential functions that dominate their thoughts.
To have a chance to invade this process, some family member, is going to have secure the how-to information from a legal professional , and /or invite that professionsl to their home on some specific evening to declare that this is the day when we address a Family Will.
As always, there comes a time when we have run out of time!
Are you in the know about a Family Will, a Living Will or a Living Trust ?
*1 How often have you talked about Wills with other family members ?
*2 Is there a Family Will at all?
*3 Does anyone know where it is located ?
*4 Has any family member questioned why a Will is necessary ?
*5 Does anyone know how to start the process of preparing a Will ?
*6 Would someone in your family be prepared to call a notary, credit union trust officer, lawyer, financial planner or trust company officer to get information about what steps to take to get started?
*7 Would you invite one of these legal professionals to your home to discuss how each family member would play a part as to which type of plan would fit for the family in their present situation ?
*8 Would the parents want their teenagers to be involved in these planning discussions, and if not, Why not ?
*9 Only a member in your family can initiate an important discussion of this kind, and anyone old enough to want to help can do so because it is their future that is on the line.
*10 Has no one in the family seen what has happened to others who have passed away without a Will, and witnessed the devastation and grief of the remaining family members? Isn’t that a motivation in itself to insure none of your family are put through that type of agony?
*11 In a rapidly ever-changing world of today, will your family members understand the importance of how quickly family styles change ( second and third marriages with additional children) and be always ready to make the necessary changes in the Wills to accomodate these changes ?
*12 Would all the family members at the initial planning stages agree that the style of the family Will be reviewed every three years so that everyone is kept aware of where each one stands?
Then why wait ? Don’t delay in doing things you’ve put off for too long. Call that family session together as soon as possible and address that Family Will issue without further delay.
If you don’t think so, give some thought to what the consequences of not having a family Will in place would be for the family.
Preparing a will is something that no one looks forward—it conjures up thoughts of our inevitable demise and can be a depressing process. That being said, a will is a necessary document that eases the job of those who are still living. A will is particularly important for people who have young children.
While most people think of a will as simply a means to divvy up one’s material possessions, it also deals with the issue of child guardianship. Your children are undoubtedly the most important thing in your life, and it is crucial to ensure that they are taken care of in the event of an untimely passing. Although it may be a painful undertaking, drafting a will is a necessity for all parents.
A Living Will…..? Your own Health Care Proxy….?
A Health Care proxy lists your wishes for medical treatment should you ever become unable to make those decisions yourself. It can also name the person whom you designate to make decisions for you.
A Format for you to think about:
*1…Most states/prov’s, permit you to have a health care proxy. This is also sometimes called a personal directive or power of attorney.
*2…Check with your legal professional re the specifics in your area.
*3…Recognize, that your Doctor will be bound by the directions you give in your proxy.
*4…Describe situations in which you want your health care proxy to take effort: For example, “This health care is to take effect if I am terminally ill or injured, comatose with little chance of recovery, or in a vegetative state “….is one way to describe your wishes.
*5…List treatments you do not consent to. Many people include such things as the use of a respirator, resuscitation, blood or blood products, life-sustaining medications , and even food and water.
*6…You can also list Nothing , and instead, state that you want the person you have designated to make decisions at that time!.
*7…Create your health care proxy by typing a document in which you state that it is a health care proxy or directive, and that your intention is to give directions to your doctors should you become incapacitated or comotose.
*8…State that you are authorizing this person, ( list the persons name, address, and telephone number) to make medical decisions for you should you be unable to.
*9…You may not need to name anyone,…. But Doctors will then take directions from your closest family members and will not discuss matters with partners or friends.
THE GOOD_ _ THE BAD _ _ AND THE UGLY _ _ _OF SOME PROBATE FEES !
Some families may consider the way probate fees are calculated as being unfair to the family.?
Some states/prov. laws, sets the fees that probate representatives may charge. Many allow representatives to charge any fee that the court would consider reasonable, without limitations. Others, limit the fees to a fixed percentage of the value of the estate. These fees can be expensive under either method.
Cosider the late William E. Boeing estate results showing a 47% reduction in the estate value ? The estate was valued at $22,386,158.00. total settlement costs were $10,589,748.00 , leaving a net estate value of only $11,796,410.00 ? By any standard, that is extremely expensive as most would agree.
Depending on how title was held on the date of death, a married couple could pay some form of probate fees on the death of each spouse. Again a firm reminder for individuals to use the services of a qualified legal professional when they start their estate planning to minimize these sometime costly fees.
Because a WILL only takes effect at the time of your death, the answer is NO. A Will has no control over events during your life.
When the word Probate is mentioned, many people think it is only something that happens when you die!
Most people unaware of these processes, do not realize that probate can also happen while you are alive. It might be referred to as a living probate, but in legal language it is called a “conservatorship “ or “guardianship proceeding ”
If you become mentally disabled before you die, the probate court will appoint someone to take control of all your assets and personal affairs.
These court appointed agents must file very strict annual accountings with the court, causing the entitre process to be very expensive, time-consuming and most of all, humiliating!
Will Registry
As human beings, we have the power to direct where we direct our emotions. But there comes a time when that control is taken out of our hands.
There comes a time when we cannot alter, change, revoke, rescind or terminate all that has happened, and we had better be prepared for that uneventful day.
Is it better that we examine what we can, or should do to leave a comfortable lifestyle for the family members who will be left behind. It is agreed that we want the best for their continued enjoyment of life. And when it comes to any children, much considerable thought must be given to any planning for their future.
There isn’t any replacement for that important document, the Family Will !
Leaving your loved ones without a complete set of instructions as to what is to happen to them after your passing, would not be the legacy you want.
Today, don’t leave them unprotected. Get the preparation for your Family Will, Living Will, or Living Trust started , before your lifestyle is unexpectedly interupted.
Now, having done that , there is only one thing left to do, to make that Will the most effective. Seek out a world wills location registry and register where you will keep that important Will, so it can be easily found when needed. To insure when that Will can be found, notify two other family members and one or two friends and tell them where you have stored your Will. Remember, a Will is of little value, IF it cannot be located when needed.
The loss of the first boyfriend or girlfriend is equivilant to the loss of a parent in emotions , heartaches and can create a trauma that needs close attention from the other parent and other family members. Because most parents at one time or another in their teen/tween years suffered the same emotional trauma that their teen/tweens will go through, it begs the question, “how to handle the situation in today’s world?”
If there was no Family Will to guide the remaining family members as to what to do next, additional trauma and anxiety is forced upon them. That trauma is akin to the breakup of your teens/tweens first romantic relationship and it must be handled with the greatest of empathy possible by the parents.
What parents should do_ _ _ and not do, according to clinical psychologists is :
Avoid temptation to say, “I told you so, “. Your automatic response may be to say “I told you not to take this relationship so seriously “, or, “I told you that you couldn’t trust him.” These statements are prone to making your teener feel more like a failure and are counterproductive to letting your teener know that you care.
Be empathic. Showing empathy means trying to put yourself in your child’s place. Try to remember how you felt with your first big emotional breakup. How did you feel ? Recall the most important reactions from others that were helpful to you.
Practice active listening. Good listening. Active listening is a powerful tool in connecting to your child. Let your child do the talking and accept whatever they are feeling at that time. Avoid minimizing or discounting their feelings. Use open-ended questions and try not to interupt while your teen is talking. “What happened? “, “How are you doing ?”, “Is there anything I can do to help?”
Avoid a Lecture. Now is not the time to be judgmental and critical of their mistakes or choices in the relationship that just ended. Your child is already obsessing about what they might have done wrong. When they are ready, you can talk about what they learned or how they can use the experience for future relationships.
Encourage peer support. Encourage them to keep in touch with their friends and to share information about the breakup with peers they trust. Help them get back into a routine with their interests as soon as they are ready. This helps your teener recognize that others care and they can do something concrete about feelings of loneliness.
Help to build self-confidence. It’s easy to lose perspective in the throes of a breakup. Help them see that even though the relationship ended, it was the relationship that failed, but they themselves are not failures.
Monitor for prolonged grieving and depression. Sadness and grieving are normal reactions, but consider getting professional help if: your teener seems to be depressed for more than a couple of weeks or expresses not wanting to go on: there is a marked change in their sleep or appetite: there is a total withdrawal from family and friends: or a loss of interest in school and activities.
Because teens and tweeners of family”s are a vital link with parents in the planning of any Family Will, Living Will or Living Trust, they should be brought into these discussions as early as possible so they realize that they are an important part of the family as young adults. Seeking their input into these vital discussions promotes responsible thinking for them. The more family members involved in this estate planning creates a more cohesive family after any family losses.
Living Wills
How to cope with aging parents who you watch getting older each day.
Facing the death of a parent can be a traumatic experience for the family and children of any age.
Having to cope with with the loss of a parent is an issue no one wants to experience, yet it is a factual part of living.
It should be remembered that coming to terms with the death of a parent happens in a process of stages and is usually not something that happens overnight. That is why it is important to try to determine their wishes about what they want family to do about a family Will, ( if there is one)
Since there is no right way to grieve, each should grieve in their own way. Some grieve outwardly through tears and expressed emotions, others, inwardly and keep the hurt they feel to themselves.
If talking about the situation makes one feel better, then they should express themselves. No one however, is obligated to anyone to tell them how they feel.
Learn to cope by remembering that even though your parents physical presence is gone, the relationship you had with them still exists. It will live on forever through you. Hold tight to your memories and keep the relationship alive despite their death and physical absence.
No matter what you do, your parents are going to age right before your eyes. Before you were even born, your parents knew aging at some point would be a factor. Everyone is in the same boat and will be aging soon., hopefully minus any serious illness or handicap, and some, sooner than others.
Help them in their declininng years to be sure that the family planning, and what is to happen to their estate after they pass, is properly addressed. It is to be expected that they above all, would not want to leave a mess after they are gone.